My trying to get pregnant arsenal

The hubby and I have had a chance to regroup recently and have decided to really have a go at TTC. I've been treating it rather half-heartedly and need to COMMIT.

So we're getting back in the game. I thought I'd share with you 

my trying to get pregnant arsenal. 

This is my TTC Bible. I stopped taking the Pill in 2003 after about a year. The story is, I started on the Pill when Drew and I were a few months away from our wedding. Then a Catholic gentleman I worked with gave me a brochure about the effects of the Pill and it was eye-opening. The idea of a pill making my body inhospitable to a fertilized egg was not in line with my beliefs and values so I was considering not taking it anymore when my backpack was stolen out of my car--with my pills in it. "Message received, God."

I then decided to teach myself the Fertility Awareness Method, ordered this book, and started right away with charting. I still pick it up on occasion when I have a fertility-related concern.

This is the 2015 anniversary edition of Taking Charge of Your Fertility on Amazon.

There are FREE printable fertility charts from TCOYF, too, so they're ready to go. I've used them dozens of times over the years and they'll tell me a LOT about what's going on with my body. They look like this.

Print yours by clicking here.

I also ordered a new basal thermometer so I can chart my temperature (along with cervical fluid and other fertility signs). Using this method, we got pregnant with Andrew after about four official tries then got pregnant twice in a row after that ON THE FIRST TRY.

I'm 38 now and we've "tried" over 20 times now to now avail so it's time to big out the big guns again. Here's the one I ordered on Amazon. Basal thermometer.

For me, the most important features are that it takes your temperature quickly and recalls your last temperature. So I can take my temperature at 7:00am every morning, even if I don't write it down until later in the day (when I'm not half asleep and it's not dark).

I also ordered these ovulation detection strips from Amazon.

My cycles have been between 27 and 31 days lately so that means I need to test from about day 13 to 18 to tell if I'm experiencing a surge.

Naturally, when you're TTC, you're going to wonder if you're pregnant...so I went ahead and bought a big ol' pack of pregnancy test strips, too. Pregnancy test strips from Amazon.

When I talked to my ob/gyn about taking prenatal vitamins (they often upset my stomach), she suggested forgoing the usual and instead just taking a folic acid supplement. There's not much to them so I just got these Folic acid tablets.

{If you've heard anything recently for or against folic acid, please let me know!}

I'm also determined to keep stress levels low, cut back on sugar again and just take better care of myself in general. After the holidays, I never quite returned 100% to my healthy eating habits (I'm looking at you, Lay's potato chips).

We're feeling ready!

Of course I'll keep you updated on our TTC progress. Hopefully charting officially will increase our odds because I'm not getting any younger!


 

He said his peace!

Weeellll....we've been hem-hawing about having another baby for months--nay, years--now. We've even "tried" off and on quite a few times! Then we just weren't sure what we wanted to do, so we took a break.

Well, my sweet hubby kept asking me if I wanted another baby. He'd ask our boys if they wanted a brother or sister. He'd mention "now or never" and ask if I'd made up my mind.

I've knows for quite a while that I'm definitely open to the idea or having another baby but I wasn't SURE one way or the other.

Then recently, I've been feeling the draw again...that puuullll to become a mother again.

It's that time of the year, too...when we got pregnant with the miscarriage baby, Mother's Day, Ethan's birthday...when I'm thinking about pregnancy and babies again.

And I noticed on Countdown to Pregnancy that if we conceived this cycle, I'd be due December 28. That rings a bell--that was our due date with the miscarriage baby. 

Songs on the radio...looking at baby pictures of the boys and feeling that tug on my heart...I finally thought, "Yeah, we need to think about taking another leap of faith."

Drew prayed about it. He said he had peace. So we're going for it.

The night before we first "tried," Ethan added, "getting a new baby" to his nighttime prayers....like he KNEW or something. Funny.

This time FEELS different. Our hearts are in it. Life is good, our family is doing great, I'm feeling amazing...it's time.

So we're taking that leap of faith and this time, we're sticking with it! 

Assuming my fertile phase just passed, we'd be looking at news before the end of April. If it doesn't take this month, I'll start charting again. I had to brush up on my Fertility Awareness knowledge--thankfully, a lot of it is still ingrained in me!

The last two times we really made up our minds we got pregnant on the first try so of course that's my request. But really, any time in the next 10 months would be lovely.

Here we go!!

On Using Contraception

A friend posted a link to this post today on Biblical Homemaking about whether Christian should use birth control and I thought, "Gosh, I haven't written about that on God Knits! I should tell MY story!" so here I am.

I don't really write about or discuss controversial issues. EVER. In real life or on my various blogs. I do, however, tell my stories and let my readers come to their own conclusions.

Here's my story where it concerns the use of contraception. We will save the "family planning" aspect for another post.

When my husband and I got engaged, I went to my naturopathic doctor and asked her about birth control. We knew we didn't want to start a family right away. She wrote me a prescription for the Pill and I started it right away.

I felt terrible, gained weight, had headaches for the first time in my life and even threw up on the side of Thunderbird Road one night. The Pill was not kind to me.

In the meantime, I was working as an administrative assistant at a engineering firm and a kind Catholic gentleman handed me a brochure one day in the hall and said, "We never need to speak of this." It was about Natural Family Planning.

As a lifelong learner and a Bible believing Christian, I read it and did some research. I was surprised to learn about what the Pill does to a woman's body and felt betrayed by my naturopathic doctor.

That experience taught me that I am in charge of my health and must look out for what enters my body. To this day, I rarely take any type of medicine and am very careful about what goes on and in my body. As a disclaimer, I do still love Oreos and Cheezits and am by no means "all natural."

The thing about the Pill that rocked my heart and left me feeling very convicted was discovering that one of the "benefits" of the Pill is that it thickens the uterine lining to make it inhospitable to a fertilized egg. Believing that life begins at conception meant that it was NOT OK that my body would reject a fertilized egg!! Imagining mine and my husband's cell combining and multiplying and our future baby coming down my fallopian tubes just to be met by an inhospitable environment I created was heart breaking.

I debated for a while about what to do but I couldn't escape the unsettled feeling I had about being on the Pill. As I gave it some thought, it just so happened that Phoenix was experiencing a gas shortage and I was planning to stay the night with friends to avoid the 50 mile drive home. While I was parked behind the tutoring center where I worked, my car was broken into and my backpack stolen, along with my pills. I felt like God was sending a clear message: "Stop taking the Pill." Message received. I never refilled my prescription.

I knew I wanted a long-term birth control solution that didn't involve artificial hormones, had no side effects and was easily reversible so I ordered two books: "Natural Family Planning" and "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler.  As a Christian who is not Catholic, the NFP method didn't quite gel with my beliefs. TCOYF, however, changed my life.

I started the Fertility Awareness Method immediately and have used it with great success for ten years now. We have conceived without problems three times and have not had a surprise pregnancy in all that time. What I've learned about my body because of charting is better saved for future posts but suffice it to say, I am now a self-proclaimed fertility nut and a big believer in the FAM.

Human life is precious and a decision about your birth control method (or lack of) is an important and personal one.

I will encourage you to search your own heart, ask trusted mentors, search the Bible, have a conversation with your spouse and make an informed decision. There is a lot to consider.

I'd also encourage you to extend grace to those whose method or perspective differs from yours, especially as you become more educated on the topic. Everyone is in their own phase of their journey--myself included. This is not a black and white issue for most people.

By the way, endometrial abalation destroys your uterine lining, too. Mayo Clinic's explanation of endomertial abalation is: Here. It's just something else to think about.

Two Week Wait: no news yet

Only 11 days past ovulation, cycle day 28, still 3-4 days until I would start a new cycle.****

Had to try with a $1 today because if we conceive this cycle, there's a surprise involved...and I could have passed on the news today and it would have been really fun!

But, alas, no news yet.

As I've mentioned before, I got a lot of negatives with $1 tests, even the same day I got a + on other tests, so... I'll keep on hoping for the best!

I was also about 13-14 dpo with past pregnancies, so I may just implant late.

Here's my most recent test on Countdown To Pregnancy: http://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test-gallery/my-pregnancy-test85978

****UPDATE! This cycle ended two days later on January 8th. The news would have been that I was due on my dad's birthday but, alas, that didn't happen. We'll have to see how the story unfolds!

Oh, boy!

Well, well, well.

It seems that I am experiencing my Peak Day today on cycle day 17, approximately 14 days prior to my next cycle. I should ovulate today or tomorrow. All good.

And there's this:

 

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!! That'd be a riot!!!

And now begins the Two Week Wait. Siiiiigghhhh.

 

Don't Stop Believing

It's not a very spiritual song but "Don't Stop Believing" (originally by Journey) popped into my head during our last Two Week Wait.

Here it is, by the way, on Youtube. This is the GLEE version. It's so fun. It makes me want to get back to singing.



This time last month, my grandmother had just arrived into town for a month-long visit and, yes, we pick 'themes' for her trips and that one was "Let The Good Times Roll" with a 1950s vibe. We even had a sock hop to welcome her to Arizona. We love to party.

So! I got that song stuck in my head, then come to find out, one of the lyrics was "paying anything to roll the dice just one more time."

That had been our pregnancy announcement plan: to do a play on words with "we decided to roll the dice one more time"  to go with the "Let The Good Times Roll" theme. I remember bursting into tears when I heard that part of the song as we were awaiting news.

Alas, we didn't get pregnant...but the "Don't Stop Believing" concept stuck with me.

I believe that God is challenging me--probably in all parts of life--to keep believing in His plan and that He is working everything out for the best. Regardless of how my circumstances look.

As of today, I'm cycle day 31. The only cycle I've had longer than that in 2012 was back in April. My average is 30.

I'm approximately 14 days past ovulation, too, which is a day longer than average. No spotting except a tiny bit of pink late last night, which is NOT typical to my pre-period spotting, which tends to be red and/or brown. Implantation bleeding??? That did happen with one pregnancy, probably Andrew's...where I had no pre-period spotting but DID have some light pink, then got a positive test two days later.

Naturally I think about all of these possibilities and how one trip to the bathroom could put an end to the wondering. But, until AF arrives full force, I will keep believing for the best!!

 

It's So Bizarre

...to be in the Two Week Wait* not knowing whether you're pregnant, hoping you are, waiting to test and knowing that you COULD be walking around with a blastocyst in your uterus that will eventually be your new son or daughter.

It's just bizarre. Like being trapped in two realities. I might be about to get the biggest news of my life or it could just be another month that went by. I could be carrying a teeny-tiny ball of cells with mine and Drew's DNA or be about to start my period. This weekend, we could be making an announcement and talking about due dates and baby names or estimating the NEXT potential fertile phase and deciding whether to 'go for' a September baby. Those two realities are vastly different.

And you just don't know. And there's nothing you can do but wait to find out.

You just count down the days until you can take that pregnancy test, knowing that the result will either change your life forever or force you to start another cycle of trying and waiting.

Just as an update, I'm now 10 DPO (days past ovulation), which is really the first day that most women get a positive pregnancy test. But I'm not testing today. I may test tomorrow, though, so I could tell my grandmother before she leaves town and so I'd know whether to have a cocktail at my husband's company Christmas party that night. 11 DPO is still relatively early, but most tests should pick up a positive two to three days before my expected period.

No spotting, no symptoms to speak of. But not really PMSing or feeling period-like cramps, either. Just nothing.  

I'm actually feeling fantastic, which is in stark contrast to last month when I recorded all kinds of crazy symptoms at this point in my cycle! What is that about?!? I always felt good in early pregnancy with past pregnancies--mostly increased energy and appetite. Then the 'night nausea' and exhaustion came full force at around 6-8 weeks. So there's nothing to go on at this point.

So, yes it's bizarre but it's where I am right now and we'll get an answer soon enough.

In the meantime, we wait.

*The TWW is the two weeks between ovulation/conception and a positive pregnancy test.

TTC Update and Please Stand By

TTC (Trying To Conceive) cycle #1 was exciting and nerve-wracking and did not indeed 'take' on the first try. We're at peace about it and we have trust in God's perfect timing.

I wrote a lot during the Two Week Wait that was raw and honest (God showed up in some BIG ways!)...and now it's all in 'draft' form so I can go back over it and make sure it's appropriately authentic before I post it for the world to see.

There was some good stuff in there about the waiting, about early pregnancy symptoms and test-taking, etc...I'll re-post ASAP!

Thanks for bearing with me! And, yes, we're planning to 'try' again in approximately 15 days.

Tab's Tips For Taking Pregnancy Tests

I say tipS (plural) because, seriously, who can take just ONE test!?!?

These are mine from September 2, 2008, approximately 14 days past ovulation. I dipped one in the cup and it popped up before I even set it down. Not trusting my eyes, I dipped the other one immediately afterward. I was amazed!!

When I was learning the Fertility Awareness Method, I remember reading that it is almost impossible for a woman to go beyond 18 days past ovulation without being pregnant. For charters, being past day 18 post-ov without a period is an almost sure sign of pregnancy. "Well, I'll just wait the 18 days and test after that, then," I remember thinking.

Riiiiiiight. That never happened.

With all three of my pregnancies, I started taking $1 tests as early as 10 days past when I thought I ovulated. I would have negatives or even light positives on days 11 and 12, but I didn't get a STRONG, dark, CONCLUSIVE positive result until fully 13-14 days post-ov.

I was never an obsessed test-taker, but I did try the dollar tests just for fun in the days leading up to day 13-14, knowing I'd have to splurge on a 'real test' for the official result.

So! Here are my Tab's Tips for Taking Pregnancy Tests:

1. Wait to take a test until your period is truly LATE.

Implantation needs to occur before hCG is produced, and that generally happens between 6-12 days post ovulation, usually by 10 days after. I recommend not testing before at LEAST 10 days post-ov, and closer to 13-14+ days if you can bear to wait that long.

During the 'waiting to test' phase is when knowing the typical length of your luteal phase (the time between ovulation and your period) is extremely valuable. Knowing what's normal for you means that you can test confidently within a day or two of when you would usually expect your period.

With my first pregnancy, I knew my luteal phase rarely went past 12-14 days AND I usually had spotting on days 11-14 or so. When I got to day 13 post-ov with NO spotting, I figured something was up. Sure enough, the test on day 13 was very faint but on day 14 it was VERY positive.

CAUTION!! Many factors can lead to a longer-than-usual cycle including delayed ovulation due to stress of sickness. So unless you KNOW when you ovulated, just thinking you're 'a little late' doesn't necessarily mean you're pregnant.

COOL TOOL!!! Wondering when to test based on your specific cycle?? Try this on CountDownToPregnancy.com. Gives you a run-down of when various pregnancy tests will pick up the hormone levels. Very cool! According to my dates, I'd be a fool to test before at least Nov. 4 and I'm advised to wait until Nov. 7th and beyond. My plan is to hold out until Thursday the 8th because I have a big teaching gig the next day AND my grandmother arrives into town so I will HAVE to know!

2. Test with your first morning AND midstream urine if possible. You should use midstream urine--meaning you should pee a little first and then either hold the test stick in your urine stream or use a collection cup. And I recommend.....

3. Pee in a cup, THEN dip the stick IN (rather than trying to pee ON the stick). You will be nervous and your hands might be shaky, so don't attempt to pee ON the stick!

Follow the package instructions, of course, but for MOST tests, you can pee in a paper cup then dip the absorbent tip into the cup for the specified amount of time and lay the test down to get your result.

4. Keep the test pointing downward and then lay it flat afterward. I remember with my third pregnancy, I dipped it in the cup then watched it move across the control and BAM! The second line emerged, before I could even set it down! That was awesome.

5. Know your tests. Some tests are more sensitive than others. If you're testing early, you want a test that detects the LOWEST amount of the pregnancy hormone. There are many tests on the market that can pick up 25mlU. Some even pick up levels as low as 10mlU or 15mlU.

Check out this list from FertilityPlus.com for a list of the most sensitive tests then take it to the store and see which ones are on sale. 

Wondering about the hCG levels? A rounded-off average would be about 25 mIU at 10 dpo, 50 at 12 dpo, 100 at 14 dpo. You can see why I got FAST, clear positives on day 14!

I'd wait to get the digital "I'm pregnant" test until you're pretty sure you are OR if you are just DYING to know for sure early on. It is a fun picture for the scrapbook (or to use as a prop to announce your pregnancy), but cheaper tests can still give you a conclusive positive (or two or three or six) before you have to splurge on the expensive digital version.

Happy testing!

Do you have tests you love or hate? Do share!

 

Early Pregnancy Symptoms

For women who think they may be pregnant, it's fun to compare notes on the early pregnancy symptoms other women experienced. Here are mine.

Andrew's pregnancy (2005):
1. My first tip-off was being 12 days post-ovulation without any spotting. If you are hoping to be pregnant, anything unusual about your cycle is a good sign!
2. Bright blue veins across my chest and later, on my belly. Increased blood flow, I believe.
3. I walked into Target and almost wretched when the smell of popcorn hit me like a wall.
4. My jeans were tight around the belly almost immediately. Or they FELT that way, anyhow. It's said to be a result of hormonal changes.

**Reading over old blog posts, I discovered that I had what was almost definitely implantation spotting a day or two before my positive test with Andrew. Good to know!

Once I found out we were pregnant (13 days post-ov officially), I had increased appetite and energy for about a week. At about the six week mark, the evening tiredness started in. I had some food aversions early on, too, like I didn't want coffee or sweets, and I was thirsty a lot.

Miscarriage pregnancy (2008):
I had to read old blog entries to remind myself...
1. "Drooly" and light-headed, some achiness and lower back aches. "A little tired." I don't remember many clear signs, which may have been a sign.

SIDENOTE: My theory now, four years later, is that I was exposed to a bug or virus of some kind at about 5 weeks pregnancy. I'm not sure how all of that works, but I wonder if my 'symptoms' were merely the bug starting to kick in. My midwives theorized that I had a 'blighted ovum,' which would have resulted in a positive prengnacy test, but isn't technically--maybe--a 'baby.' I'll write more about this at some later point.}

REST ASSURED, however, that MANY women without strong early pregnancy signs go on to have healthy babies! Every woman and every pregnancy is different.

Ethan's pregnancy (2008):
1. All I recorded on my trying-to-get-pregnant blog was "achy and tired." Naturally that can also mean 'impending period' so that's not a big help.

Once I got the positive test (about five weeks in due to 35-day cycles), a couple of days later I reported..."I'm feeling fine. A little low on energy at times, even breathless, like everything is harder. Very HOT. Definitely hungry and thirsty all the time. A little woozy from time to time but otherwise, GREAT!" There ya go!

By six weeks, I reported on feeling "tired and woozy, just enough to be annoying." Sounds about right.

So...we'll see if I'm 'achy and tired' a week from now!

In the meantime, this is a really cool chart to see what pregnant and non-pregnant women were experiencing at the various days past ovulation. Find it on
Countdowntopregnancy.com.

Gulp. Here we go again!

How quickly things change!!

We are 'trying' now. Yikes.

We went back and forth for months and my fertile phase would come and go month after month...and my husband juuuust wasn't feeling it. Until this week.

This week has been a whirlwind of emotions and excitement. Drew accepted a promotion at work, I actually backed OFF on my writing business, my dear friend is dealing with symptoms related to her brain tumor surgery (again) and there were lost keys, a sprained ankle and other tense moments as well. Life stuff, y'know?

The stuff that makes you appreciate what you have, look forward to the future and re-evaluate what is really important in life.

In the midst of it all, my hubby and I just sort of looked at each other and went, "Eh, why not??" It's not like things are going to calm DOWN any time soon!

I did have to state my case, however:
1. I'm not getting any younger. I'll be 35 in November!
2. If it 'takes' on the first try, I could announce our news when my grandmother is here to visit in November. That happened with my first pregnancy and it was priceless.
3. We'd be due in July, BEFORE the major heat sets in and in a time of year that is UN-busy for us. 4. We know we want a third child (I think I've always known) and there will never be a 'perfect time,' so why not just roll the dice and see what we get!?!

Drew did make me promise that, when it 'takes,' I'll take a break from my businesses, side projects and ministries and focus on the boys, my health, our home and the new baby. I promised!

It was so precious....we were discussing baby names (why?!?) and the two boys kept asking questions about having a new baby. We got into a lively discussion. We voted. They're both in favor or another kid.

So....Drew and I talked. We got real. We argued some. We got emotional. Well, I got emotional. And ultimately, we are trusting God with the outcome and we just decided to 'go for it.'

We did, by the way, put in a request for a girl, IF that is in God's plan. We trust Him to give us exactly what we need, whether a boy or a girl. 

Now it's the part I hate: the waiting. At least my cycles are now 31 days long instead of 35-45 like they once were. The wait between fertile phases use to be excruciating, but waiting a month if we have to 'try' again isn't so bad.

I think I ovulated yesterday or today, so I'll be on the lookout for implantation spotting from around Nov. 3 to Nov. 6 (7-10 days after ovulation in general), then we will probably be able to take a test around Nov. 8, just after my grandmother arrives in town from Florida and before a BIG weekend of stressful events. That will be interesting!

Between now and then, that's about all I'll be able to think about!

But going from 'maybe someday' to 'trying' is a wonderful place to be.

Now we just hold out hope and see what God has for us!

Update, plus tool for estimating fertile window and more

First, the UPDATE.

I know there wasn't anyone waiting with baited breath over whether I was pregnant or not. Just as I suspected, I started a new cycle on September 10th.

For this cycle, my peak day was day 15, which is about average for me. But my luteal phase ended up lasting 16 days, the longest so far for 2012 (my average is 11). The cycle was 31 days long, only a few days more than average. Over all, I was well within the average range and, yes, I did overreact a bit. Call it wishful thinking.

As much as I love trying to get pregnant, being pregnant and having a new baby, my husband and I decided to put it off for the forseeable future. Yes, I am disappointed, but I am not crushed. We may change our minds at any time but my thought of, "We should start 'trying' again!" is NOT happening any time soon!

And....I know it's dangerous to say, "I'm not the type to 'accidentally' get pregnant," but...now I'm more confident than ever!

On to the tool!!!

This is a great tool for determining your fertile window, along with your possible conception and due date, should you get pregnant. All you need is the first day of your last cycle (the first day of your last period).

Check it out, from AmericanPregnancy.org.

It's fun to play with dates, and even having your fertile phase narrowed down to a week is pretty cool!

Delayed ovulation

You can bet that as my cycle CONTINUES to drag on to 31 days with no spotting, I am focused on the reality of only two options at this point:

1. I will start a new cycle today or tomorrow (despite a lack of spotting thus far) OR

2. I had a delayed ovulation.      

I had a negative pregnancy test Friday and another clearly negative test Saturday, so it is pretty much a 100% sure bet that we didn't miraculously get pregnant during what I THOUGHT was my fertile phase around the typical day 14-15.

BUT. We seem to vaguely remember a late-night conversation about a week AFTER my fertile phase of, "Oh, we're definitely out of the woods now, I was fertile, like, a week ago." GULP.

Delayed ovulation can be a week or more after your body's first attempt to release an egg. If it was about a week after when I thought I was fertile, I'd be at 10 days post ov today and able to test on Wednesday. I don't REMEMBER a second round of fertile fluid...but I wasn't looking for it, either.

If I ovulated even later than that, who knows where I'm at?? Since sperm can survive for up to five days, there's a wide range of possibilities!

I still feel like I will most likely start a new cycle today or tomorrow.

BUT, of course, my mind cannot help but think about that very (VERY) rare occurrence of us taking a risk in the last half of a cycle...combined with the teeny tiny possibility that I ovulated late this cycle. If that ridiculous combination of high unlikely events results in a pregnancy, it would definitely be 'a God thing' and meant to be!! And I won't rest until I know for sure one way or the other.

Naturally, my husband is taking the "Well, aren't we going to know in a few days either way? You'll either start or get a positive test? Can we worry about it then?" approach.

It's like he doesn't know me at all!! Of COURSE I will obsess about it until AF arrives OR I can test again!!

So while the waiting game continues, here's some information about delayed ovulation for anyone interested. Delayed ovulation, by the way, is the explanation for MANY 'late periods' when women THINK they are pregnant. They just ovulated later than expected!

Most sources agree on these most common reasons for delayed ovulation:
1. hormones
2. low body fat
3. excessive body fat
4. extended periods of intense exercise
5. rapid weight gain or weight loss
6. medication
7. breastfeeding
8. STRESS

Read more on WiseGeek.org.

It is important to note that the STRESS that can delay ovulation isn't limited to things like sickness, work worries, experiencing a loss or moving...it can even be 'good stress,' like a family vacation or starting an exciting new job. Our body can't interpret the difference between 'good stress' and 'bad stress,' it just knows that we're already too revved up and distracted to ovulate and/or get pregnant! So...our body will delay ovulation until we 'calm down.'

In fact, the only unusually long cycle I've had in the last two years was the summer of 2011 when my teenage sister-in-law was living with us temporarily AND we were trying to buy a home in my parents' neighborhood AND get our rental packed up AND were supposed to be leaving on a week-long trip out of town to visit in-laws and go camping. My stress levels were through the roof and my body knew it!  I recorded fertile fluid rising on day 21 but didn't record egg whites until day 32! That cycle ended up being 46 days long. Phew!

Years ago, I noticed a pattern to my (previously inexplicably) long cycles: travel. Once we were on a family trip out of state (camping with in-laws, which was more of a 'bad stress') and once we were on a family vacation (more 'good stress') but both times, I should have ovulated during the trip but ultimately didn't until after we returned home.

Somewhat ironically, I seem to have conceived our second son while two hours away from home on a women's leadership retreat! My hubby and I were intimate that Thursday when I knew I was fertile and I took my thermometer with me on the trip and had a clear temperature rise that Saturday while I was gone! Sure enough, less than two weeks later, I got a positive pregnancy test. I later told the ladies, "I got pregnant ON the retreat!" and they looked at each other in confusion. It was fun! :)

BOTTOM LINE: I am excited about the possibility of a truly miraculous pregnancy...but settled on the idea that I am probably just experiencing a slightly-longer-than-usual cycle. Only time will tell! {I just wish time would hurry up!}

 

Are you a lazy charter?

We're not trying to get pregnant at the moment (and have no plans to any time soon) so my "charting" nowadays is simply making a note once a week or so on my pocket calendar. I WANT to know what's going on with my body and whether certain symptoms or issues are hormone-related but I definitely don't need to be taking my temperature and checking my cervix every day to do that.

So unless you are using FA for contraception, are trying to get pregnant or are trouble-shooting something to do with your cycle, you can be a "lazy charter" and still have a good idea of what is happening.

Why, you ask? Besides simply knowing what is going on with your body, "lazy charting" can be useful if you need to undergo a medical procedure, suspect an accidental pregnancy or are prone to being a hypochondriac.

Here's what I recommend as a bare minimum:

1. Record day 1, the first day of your period. It's good to know when your cycle started and how many days it lasts.

I was shocked to discover that my last two cycles were both 31 days in length. I NEVER normally have cycles that short, nor that consistent in length. Hooray for me! This was during two VERY stressful months (moving across town and my oldest son starting kindergarten), which would have given my body EVERY reason to ovulate LATE and for my cycle to drag on. My cycles are regulating and normalizing! I would've never known that if I hadn't been keeping track.

2. Record any spotting, whether pre-period or mid-cycle. It's just good to know. Spotting can mean a lot of different things, depending on what type it is and when it occurs during your cycle.

I didn't spot before my current cycle which is also very unusual for me. This is good information to have!

3. Make a note of when you think you are your most fertile. You could also record your first dry day, too. This will help you predict when you will start your next cycle and whether a pregnancy could have actually occured.

4. Record having unprotected sex, even if it's early or late in your cycle. Need I say more?

5. Write down any unusual symptoms or ailments throughout the month. Could be that the headaches, strange shooting sensations in your abdomen or mood swings are hormonal and consistent month to month.

I get an upset stomach toward the end of most of my cycles so it's nice to know that I'm most likely NOT "coming down with something." I also tend to get a few high-energy days in the middle of my cycle. I have come to expect these and make my plans accordingly.

I hope this helps for any of you who don't want to do hard-core charting but still want to keep track of what's going on with your body.

Tell me...are YOU a lazy charter? What do you keep track of? How?

Tab's Top 10 Tips :: How to Get Pregnant

I'm a planner. Toward the end of 2004, when my husband and I decided to start "trying" to get pregnant, I went to my ob/gyn for a well woman/pre-conception visit. I showed her my fertility chart and told her we were going to try to get pregnant and she said, "Well, the best thing you can do is just have sex when you're fertile."

Riiiiiight. Thanks for that. A $25 co-pay well spent.

But...that's the best that most ob/gyns can do for us. At least she offered slightly more than the common, "Just have lots of sex!" advice most give out.

Most ob/gyns know very little about the the actual nitty-gritty of fertility and are not familiar with charting. They know the basics of the menstrual cycle and of conception, of course, but they certainly don't have the time to sit with a pregnancy hopeful to teach her how to fill out and interpret a fertility chart. My doctor looked at mine and nodded but I doubt she really knew what she was looking at. She certainly didn't study my chart to give me any personal recommendations as to how to increase my chances for conceiving. That was my job.

So. How do you increase your chances for conceiving during any given cycle? Some of these are Fertility Awareness-specific recommendations and some are more "generic." I'll add links to specific articles and research as time goes by.

1. Have sex when you're fertile.



HA! My doctor's advice was true!! OK, granted, but there's more to it than that. The most current research says that it's ideal to have sex 24 hours BEFORE ovulation, so that the sperm is there waiting when the egg is released. So when you have fertile fluid, certainly do have sex. And keep having sex until you dry up or get a definite temperature shift to indicate ovulation has occurred.

Haven't been charting long enough to know for sure yet when you're fertile? Having sex 3-4 times/week all month is a sure-fire way to go until you can narrow it down to the 2-3 days prior to ovulation.

2. Consider having sex every-other-day when you're fertile to conserve sperm. Save the sperm for when you are at your most fertile--meaning you're experiencing a lot of egg white cervical mucous. Those egg whites are VERY sperm-friendly and make an excellent conduit. The more slippery, the better!

In FAM terms, this is your "peak day." Once the egg white fluid starts (or whatever your most fertile fluid is), I'd advise to have sex every-other day. BUT, on your peak day, definitely have sex. Your peak day is always the best day to have sex. I'd advise you to have sex the next day, too.

** Note: If you're using an ovulation prediction kit, if it comes back positive, you're likely to ovulate within 36 hours so I'd advise having sex at least every 24 hours until your dry up.



3. Experiment with positions. The newest research suggests that practically any sexual position is good for baby-making, as long as the sperm can get to the cervix. So have fun! :) The goal is simply to get the sperm where it needs to go!

4. Elevate your hips following intercourse.


{any pillow will do}

There is some controversy on this point but I say, "Why not??" Unless you're experiencing super-duper fertile fluid (which is THE best indicator that ovulation is imminent and conception is likely to occur), it can't hurt to let the sperm "pool" at your cervix for 5-10 minutes following intercourse.

5. Look for a second opportunity to ovulate. If you don't ovulate when you expect to, don't panic....you may get another shot. Our body has to reach an "estrogen threshold" to release the egg and sometimes our body tries, doesn't quite get there and tries again. This is why charting is so important and could be why some of your cycles are extra-long. Say you're fertile on day 14 but your hormones don't allow for ovulation. Then your body will gear up to ovulate again around day 21, making your cycle last 35 or so days instead of 28. Treat this second "fertility window" just like the first and aim to have sex on your peak day.

6. Be aware that your first few cycles after a miscarriage are particularly strong. Women often get pregnant on the very next cycle following a miscarriage, or within the 2-5 months following a miscarriage. Your body has purged and cleaned out your uterus, paving the way for a subsequent pregnancy.

** NOTE: The same is true when you are coming off of the Pill. Give your body a couple of cycles to purge and adjust, then start trying!

7. Be fat and lazy.



Ok, not really, but be aware that being under weight and/or exercising too much can affect your fertility. Notice how celebrities often have fertility problems. Also notice how thin they are and how hard they work to stay that way. And there ya go. You may need to gain some weight and tone down the exercise regime to increase your fertility.

8. Keep stress in check. You've heard the stories. A couple tries for years to have a baby, then they finally "stop trying" and start the adoption process. Around the time the adoption comes through, they get pregnant. Coincidence? I don't think so. I think people are so focused on getting pregnant and are so stressed during every cycle that when they finally relax and breathe a sigh of relief and "let go..." BAM! They get pregnant.

A dear friend I was working with recently to help her get pregnant had been charting religiously and hadn't gotten pregnant yet. On her last cycle, she was so fed up that she stopped charting and taking her temperatures and took a weekend getaway to New York. She had a great time, drank a little too much and had a lot of "fun" with her husband. Wouldn't you know it--that's the cycle when she got pregnant! It pays to relax.

As a personal example, I would have annovulatory cycles when I traveled. From a biological standpoint, it makes sense that we wouldn't want to get pregnant when we're away from home. I attribute it to stress, even the "good stress" associated with a vacation. My body knew something was amiss.

Stress, especially long periods of excessive stress, absolutely affects fertility. So try to relax during the process and be intentional about taking care of yourself so that you don't let stress hormones run amuck. I'll be posting more about this soon.

9. Keep track of secondary fertility signs. This is very unique to each woman. Some women actually feel ovulation. If you notice pains in the middle of your cycle or when you have fertile fluid, make sure to keep track of it. Some women have mid-cycle spotting or spotting upon ovulation (a trace amount of blood when the egg erupts). If you see a tiny amount of pink or brown in your fertile fluid, this is an excellent sign that you are at your most fertile. Have sex on those days!!

Other women notice things like pimples, stomach aches, migraines, etc. around the time of ovulation. Just keep track of these things so you know what fertility signs to look for.

10. Take advantage of your increased libido. Most women actually want to have more sex when they're fertile--imagine that!! Many women notice that their senses seem to be "on alert" when they're near ovulation. If you can name the brand of cologn the bag boy is wearing, it's a good sign that ovulation is imminent!

These are just a few ideas. The best advice is to know your own body. Please feel free to leave your own tips--or what has worked for you--in the comments.