Mothering the Mother

For anyone just joining us, we're taking a break from TTC. It's been nice to have one less thing to think about!

Thankfully, this last period was very minor and I've felt pretty good!

Here are a few pictures from our recent day trip up to the snow in Flagstaff, AZ. We had a blast and it was such a nice escape from the holiday craziness!

Pushing big brother down the hill.

Brothers about to blast off!

Me and Ethan, bundled and enjoying the snow!

In other news...

I visited a new naturopathic doctor today who is also a certified nurse midwife. I'm going to get some blood work done then schedule a time to meet with her to address whatever issues I may have. An over-taxed adrenal system is a likely suspect. There may also be cortisol, thyroid or vitamin D issues, too--we'll see! I don't have to speculate much longer--she'll be able to tell me!

Sitting in her office NOT at a prenatal appointment was...good. I feel like if I were pregnant, we'd be dealing with my health issues on top of pregnancy issues and I'd be skating on thin ice again.

Don't get me wrong, I feel pretty great--but I don't feel as steady or as strong as I'd like, and that's not a good way to start a pregnancy, especially at age 36.  

I am grateful to not be pregnant so I can take care of myself for a season.

There are times when the mother needs mothering and for now, that's where I am. I don't know about baby #3 but in the meantime, feeling well, strong and balanced are my top priorities. Then I can take care of everyone better!

 

On Using Contraception

A friend posted a link to this post today on Biblical Homemaking about whether Christian should use birth control and I thought, "Gosh, I haven't written about that on God Knits! I should tell MY story!" so here I am.

I don't really write about or discuss controversial issues. EVER. In real life or on my various blogs. I do, however, tell my stories and let my readers come to their own conclusions.

Here's my story where it concerns the use of contraception. We will save the "family planning" aspect for another post.

When my husband and I got engaged, I went to my naturopathic doctor and asked her about birth control. We knew we didn't want to start a family right away. She wrote me a prescription for the Pill and I started it right away.

I felt terrible, gained weight, had headaches for the first time in my life and even threw up on the side of Thunderbird Road one night. The Pill was not kind to me.

In the meantime, I was working as an administrative assistant at a engineering firm and a kind Catholic gentleman handed me a brochure one day in the hall and said, "We never need to speak of this." It was about Natural Family Planning.

As a lifelong learner and a Bible believing Christian, I read it and did some research. I was surprised to learn about what the Pill does to a woman's body and felt betrayed by my naturopathic doctor.

That experience taught me that I am in charge of my health and must look out for what enters my body. To this day, I rarely take any type of medicine and am very careful about what goes on and in my body. As a disclaimer, I do still love Oreos and Cheezits and am by no means "all natural."

The thing about the Pill that rocked my heart and left me feeling very convicted was discovering that one of the "benefits" of the Pill is that it thickens the uterine lining to make it inhospitable to a fertilized egg. Believing that life begins at conception meant that it was NOT OK that my body would reject a fertilized egg!! Imagining mine and my husband's cell combining and multiplying and our future baby coming down my fallopian tubes just to be met by an inhospitable environment I created was heart breaking.

I debated for a while about what to do but I couldn't escape the unsettled feeling I had about being on the Pill. As I gave it some thought, it just so happened that Phoenix was experiencing a gas shortage and I was planning to stay the night with friends to avoid the 50 mile drive home. While I was parked behind the tutoring center where I worked, my car was broken into and my backpack stolen, along with my pills. I felt like God was sending a clear message: "Stop taking the Pill." Message received. I never refilled my prescription.

I knew I wanted a long-term birth control solution that didn't involve artificial hormones, had no side effects and was easily reversible so I ordered two books: "Natural Family Planning" and "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler.  As a Christian who is not Catholic, the NFP method didn't quite gel with my beliefs. TCOYF, however, changed my life.

I started the Fertility Awareness Method immediately and have used it with great success for ten years now. We have conceived without problems three times and have not had a surprise pregnancy in all that time. What I've learned about my body because of charting is better saved for future posts but suffice it to say, I am now a self-proclaimed fertility nut and a big believer in the FAM.

Human life is precious and a decision about your birth control method (or lack of) is an important and personal one.

I will encourage you to search your own heart, ask trusted mentors, search the Bible, have a conversation with your spouse and make an informed decision. There is a lot to consider.

I'd also encourage you to extend grace to those whose method or perspective differs from yours, especially as you become more educated on the topic. Everyone is in their own phase of their journey--myself included. This is not a black and white issue for most people.

By the way, endometrial abalation destroys your uterine lining, too. Mayo Clinic's explanation of endomertial abalation is: Here. It's just something else to think about.

Are you a lazy charter?

We're not trying to get pregnant at the moment (and have no plans to any time soon) so my "charting" nowadays is simply making a note once a week or so on my pocket calendar. I WANT to know what's going on with my body and whether certain symptoms or issues are hormone-related but I definitely don't need to be taking my temperature and checking my cervix every day to do that.

So unless you are using FA for contraception, are trying to get pregnant or are trouble-shooting something to do with your cycle, you can be a "lazy charter" and still have a good idea of what is happening.

Why, you ask? Besides simply knowing what is going on with your body, "lazy charting" can be useful if you need to undergo a medical procedure, suspect an accidental pregnancy or are prone to being a hypochondriac.

Here's what I recommend as a bare minimum:

1. Record day 1, the first day of your period. It's good to know when your cycle started and how many days it lasts.

I was shocked to discover that my last two cycles were both 31 days in length. I NEVER normally have cycles that short, nor that consistent in length. Hooray for me! This was during two VERY stressful months (moving across town and my oldest son starting kindergarten), which would have given my body EVERY reason to ovulate LATE and for my cycle to drag on. My cycles are regulating and normalizing! I would've never known that if I hadn't been keeping track.

2. Record any spotting, whether pre-period or mid-cycle. It's just good to know. Spotting can mean a lot of different things, depending on what type it is and when it occurs during your cycle.

I didn't spot before my current cycle which is also very unusual for me. This is good information to have!

3. Make a note of when you think you are your most fertile. You could also record your first dry day, too. This will help you predict when you will start your next cycle and whether a pregnancy could have actually occured.

4. Record having unprotected sex, even if it's early or late in your cycle. Need I say more?

5. Write down any unusual symptoms or ailments throughout the month. Could be that the headaches, strange shooting sensations in your abdomen or mood swings are hormonal and consistent month to month.

I get an upset stomach toward the end of most of my cycles so it's nice to know that I'm most likely NOT "coming down with something." I also tend to get a few high-energy days in the middle of my cycle. I have come to expect these and make my plans accordingly.

I hope this helps for any of you who don't want to do hard-core charting but still want to keep track of what's going on with your body.

Tell me...are YOU a lazy charter? What do you keep track of? How?

Got hormone issues?

Keeping our hormones in balance is one of our hardest jobs as women. Hormones fluctuate wildly throughout any given day, during every menstrual cycle and in every phase of a woman's life.

Although I feel incredibly well right now, I wonder sometimes about my last doctor's appointment when he told me that I have low blood pressure and have probably suffered from a stressed adrenal system for most of my life. Though not bothersome, I still sometimes deal with light-headedness, lack of energy and nervousness. Then recently, a friend of mine who has been trying to get pregnant started wondering whether her short periods and short luteal phase may point to a hormone imbalance or underlying reproductive "issue." I decided I needed to hit the books again.



I've spent the better part of Memorial Day revisiting one of the books that sealed my fate as a "Fertility Nut." When I began learning Fertility Awareness and researching progesterone cream and natural hormone balancing many years ago, I found out about this book by Dr. John Lee, written for women in the baby-making phase on the journey of motherhood: "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause: Balance Your Hormones and Your Life From Thirty to Fifty".



I already knew about him because he also wrote a book that changed the life of my mom, a breast cancer survivor of almost 15 years, called "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Menopause."

Although Dr. Lee passed away in 2003, his work is still considered revolutionary and remains the best of the best when it comes to hormones and natural hormone balancing.



It is full of wonderful information, especially for women who are having hormone-related health issues (PCOS, PMS, miscarriage, weight gain, etc.) or trouble getting pregnant. I looked up his web site {www.johnleemd.com} and it is a wealth of information as well.

You can also look up your symptoms to see what hormonal issues may be to blame with this hormone balance test.

I checked off two symptoms in Symptom Group Six (unstable blood sugar and low blood pressure) and found this to be the culprit: "Cortisol deficiency: This is caused by tired adrenals, which is usually caused by chronic stress. If you're trying to juggle a job and a family, chances are good you have tired adrenals." Just as my doctor suspected. You can bet I'll be looking into this more now.

If you are having hormone-related symptoms, my suggestion for step #1 is to start charting your cycles using the Fertility Awareness Method.



Even if you eventually do any type of hormone testing, your charts will still give you valuable information to show your doctor and help guide your journey to balanced hormones. I would advise using Dr. Lee's symptom tracker along with your Fertility Awareness chart to help you keep track of symptom patterns. Or simply use his list of symptoms to mark your chart accordingly. You may be amazed at what you can learn and what connections can be made.

Please do let me know if you discover anything new about yourself using these resources...or if you have any questions.