Delayed ovulation

You can bet that as my cycle CONTINUES to drag on to 31 days with no spotting, I am focused on the reality of only two options at this point:

1. I will start a new cycle today or tomorrow (despite a lack of spotting thus far) OR

2. I had a delayed ovulation.      

I had a negative pregnancy test Friday and another clearly negative test Saturday, so it is pretty much a 100% sure bet that we didn't miraculously get pregnant during what I THOUGHT was my fertile phase around the typical day 14-15.

BUT. We seem to vaguely remember a late-night conversation about a week AFTER my fertile phase of, "Oh, we're definitely out of the woods now, I was fertile, like, a week ago." GULP.

Delayed ovulation can be a week or more after your body's first attempt to release an egg. If it was about a week after when I thought I was fertile, I'd be at 10 days post ov today and able to test on Wednesday. I don't REMEMBER a second round of fertile fluid...but I wasn't looking for it, either.

If I ovulated even later than that, who knows where I'm at?? Since sperm can survive for up to five days, there's a wide range of possibilities!

I still feel like I will most likely start a new cycle today or tomorrow.

BUT, of course, my mind cannot help but think about that very (VERY) rare occurrence of us taking a risk in the last half of a cycle...combined with the teeny tiny possibility that I ovulated late this cycle. If that ridiculous combination of high unlikely events results in a pregnancy, it would definitely be 'a God thing' and meant to be!! And I won't rest until I know for sure one way or the other.

Naturally, my husband is taking the "Well, aren't we going to know in a few days either way? You'll either start or get a positive test? Can we worry about it then?" approach.

It's like he doesn't know me at all!! Of COURSE I will obsess about it until AF arrives OR I can test again!!

So while the waiting game continues, here's some information about delayed ovulation for anyone interested. Delayed ovulation, by the way, is the explanation for MANY 'late periods' when women THINK they are pregnant. They just ovulated later than expected!

Most sources agree on these most common reasons for delayed ovulation:
1. hormones
2. low body fat
3. excessive body fat
4. extended periods of intense exercise
5. rapid weight gain or weight loss
6. medication
7. breastfeeding
8. STRESS

Read more on WiseGeek.org.

It is important to note that the STRESS that can delay ovulation isn't limited to things like sickness, work worries, experiencing a loss or moving...it can even be 'good stress,' like a family vacation or starting an exciting new job. Our body can't interpret the difference between 'good stress' and 'bad stress,' it just knows that we're already too revved up and distracted to ovulate and/or get pregnant! So...our body will delay ovulation until we 'calm down.'

In fact, the only unusually long cycle I've had in the last two years was the summer of 2011 when my teenage sister-in-law was living with us temporarily AND we were trying to buy a home in my parents' neighborhood AND get our rental packed up AND were supposed to be leaving on a week-long trip out of town to visit in-laws and go camping. My stress levels were through the roof and my body knew it!  I recorded fertile fluid rising on day 21 but didn't record egg whites until day 32! That cycle ended up being 46 days long. Phew!

Years ago, I noticed a pattern to my (previously inexplicably) long cycles: travel. Once we were on a family trip out of state (camping with in-laws, which was more of a 'bad stress') and once we were on a family vacation (more 'good stress') but both times, I should have ovulated during the trip but ultimately didn't until after we returned home.

Somewhat ironically, I seem to have conceived our second son while two hours away from home on a women's leadership retreat! My hubby and I were intimate that Thursday when I knew I was fertile and I took my thermometer with me on the trip and had a clear temperature rise that Saturday while I was gone! Sure enough, less than two weeks later, I got a positive pregnancy test. I later told the ladies, "I got pregnant ON the retreat!" and they looked at each other in confusion. It was fun! :)

BOTTOM LINE: I am excited about the possibility of a truly miraculous pregnancy...but settled on the idea that I am probably just experiencing a slightly-longer-than-usual cycle. Only time will tell! {I just wish time would hurry up!}

 

A Great Way to Figure Out If You Want to Have Another Child

What is a great way to figure out if you want to have another child? Wonder if you could possibly have accidentally gotten pregnant!
 

My current cycle is dragging on for longer than usual with NO spotting. I am a little achy and crampy--symptoms of early pregnancy AND impending period, of course. Love that.

Other things that have made me curious??

1. I've been tired this week, but I've also had a sort throat/sneezing/stuffy nose thing since about Monday, so it's hard to say what causes what. BUT, I've had colds or weird stomach issues at the start of my other pregnancies, too. Strange. I wonder if it's an immune system thing: as soon as pregnancy sets in, your body puts all of its attention there and then you come down with any little thing you're exposed to. Just a theory!

2. On Tuesday, in fact, I was so tired that I laid down to see if I could sleep and woke up THREE hours later when the school called to ask if I was going to pick up my first grader! I almost never nap, and certainly not that long and that hard in the middle of the day! But again, that could have been simply the restless sleep I had the night before in combination with my little case of the sniffles.

3. I had strange belly pains (like gas or indigestion) that was quite painful a couple of days ago, too. Who knows??

4. I woke up two days ago remembering an angst-filled pregnancy-related dream now that I think about it. Hmm. I wish I remembered it better but there was a roomful of babies involved.

5. This cycle is a little 'off.'

6. I felt kinda breathless for a moment yesterday--an early sign from last time.

My 'charting,' by the way, currently involves a pocket calendar where I keep track of days that I seem to be fertile, any strange symptoms (spotting, belly issues, poor sleep, even vivid dreams) and, of course, my period. I actually sat down yesterday and recorded my cycle details for 2011 and so far in 2012! I highly recommend keeping track of those minimum details, by the way. Just for such a time as this!

Let me state for the record that until about two years ago, my cycles were notoriously long. Like, MONTHS long. Even in recent history, I would typically not ovulate until day 21 or later, making my cycles anywhere from 35-40+ days long! BUT, almost like someone flipped a switch, when we moved two years ago from the home we built in 2003 to Phoenix, my cycles regulated and shortened. My anxiety all but vanished, too. {Yes, there is a correlation. But that's a post for another day.}

ANYway, since making that major life change (plus finally fully recovering from Ethan's pregnancy along with slowing down and taking better care of myself), my cycles have gotten MUCH shorter!

In 2011, my cycle average was 33 days long with ovulation near day 20.
In 2012, my cycle average was 29 days long with ovulation near day 17.

The time between ovulation and the start of a new cycle tends to be the most 'set in stone' number for most women: mine is 11-12. With both of my pregnancies that 'took,' I had positive tests on about day 13-14 post ovulation.

I don't always record pre-period spotting but I do typically have some (the lack of it tipped me off to my first pregnancy) and I have had 1-3 days of it for the last FIVE months.

So. Based on that. Here I am on day 29 of my cycle with an approximate ovulation day now 14 days ago and with NO spotting. And all of the above strange symptoms.

Naturally all of the above could be NOTHING. And there's about a 99% chance that it IS nothing.

The real issue is....how am I feeling about the possibility that we had an 'oops?' It would be truly miraculous, by the way, because I assure you that we are NOT trying to get pregnant! We are actively preventing it, in fact, and we aren't risk-takers!!

But in trying to navigate the whole "Do we want another child or not?" debate....this exercise in the 'what if' is good.

I took a pregnancy test today.

A $1 test that I got a clear negative on the DAY before my two clear positives with my last pregnancy! It was clearly negative today, though. And I was disappointed. The 'almost brought tears to my eyes when I thought about it' kind of disappointed. I found myself saying, "God, could you just PUT a baby in there for me??"

I went to my son's school this afternoon for his teacher's birthday party and found myself wishing someone would talk to me and I could slip in, "Well, I just found out today that I'm pregnant!" I felt myself wishing I could stick my belly out and rub it and know there was a baby in there. Funny, huh?

We don't need another child right now. I don't have a burning desire to have a baby. I don't want to put my body through another pregnancy. Yes...there is that little part of me that felt hopeful today and kinda wished we were more reckless and there was just a small chance that I accidentally got pregnant.

I daydreamed about telling my parents Sunday on Grandparent's Day, I pinned 'announcing your pregnancy' ideas on Pinterest this week 'just in case' and I found myself going through my old pregnancy blog. My heart is open.

I realized today that I'd be open to having another baby, to adding to our family, to bringing another one of our offspring into the world, to rolling the dice again.

My back hurts tonight. I feel crampy. I'm betting it's impending period this time. I'll wake up tomorrow having started a new cycle and feel silly for all this vain hope. But I wanted to sit down and write this so I'd remember.

And at least now I know. Getting pregnant would be pretty spectacular someday. I think once we're more financially stable and my health is up closer to 100% and things have settled down...I might be ready to give it another go.

And no one is more surprised by that revelation than me.
 ADDED LATER: I was looking again at my trying-to-get-pregnant blog with Ethan and ran across this post, published almost exactly at this time of night:  Title:: "Hoping still" Based on my loose calculations, I'm about 14 days post-ov and no period yet. Feeling tired and crampy but that can be pregnancy or impending period, so that's no help. No spotting, though. I'm betting I ovulated later than I think I did. I took a $1 test this a.m. and it was clearly negative. I'll give it a day or two and test again but after that, I'll know it didn't "take." I hate waiting. But God's plan is best and I'm OK with whatever. Really. 

I realize that I am almost certainly not pregnant....but I'm very happy that I've figured out that I'd be ok with it if I were! :)

 

How do you 'walk by faith' in this?

Drew, Andrew and me, walking for our family pictures, December 2007. Andrew was two.

Not much has changed around here in the baby department, meaning that we're still in the 'no desire to have another baby right now but not ruling out the future possibility, either' phase.

Andrew is now well over six years old and Ethan is now three years and three months old and people must think we're 'done' because hardly anyone asks anymore if we're having more kids! Even my mother-in-law has laid off for the time being.

I have just been reading over my old blog entries about our miscarriage and Ethan's conception, pregnancy and birth and while I did adore being pregnant and having a baby, my heart doesn't say, "I want to do it again!" Nor do I feel like there is a person missing from our family or like I WANT another child (as of today).

BUT. Am I going to get a few years down the road and WISH I'd have done it now?? Are the boys going to be grown and I'm going to wish we'd have had the faith to just dive in and have more kids when we'd had the chance?

I refuse to live a life of regrets. I do not operate out of a place of fear.

So the question is, how do I 'walk by faith' when it comes to the future of our family? Is faith plunging in now, saying, "We're going to do this with faith that God will bless our baby and our family," and trust Him with the outcome...or having the faith to say, "I don't feel the heart-urge right now, so if the time does become right, God will faithfully tell us when that is." I think My 'leap of faith' is to NOT get pregnant now, BECAUSE it isn't a desire of my heart right now...knowing that I'm not 'missing' the opportunity somehow.

I do not want to limit God, or dictate what He can or will do! I don't want to add another child to our family right now. I am trusting God to give us another child in His perfect timing, if that is His will.

I refuse to believe that there is some sort of 'window of opportunity' that I might miss, just like I refuse to believe that there is a 'target' of His will and that only one option is 'on the mark' and the rest of them are 'off.' I have freedom to choose...and He has the power to move and speak as He wishes, to HIS glory and MY benefit!

So for now, I don't want to get pregnant. That could change at any time.

I will walk by faith, knowing that God is in control and will lead us down this path, just as He has so faithfully done before, whether that results in a new addition to our family or not.

Want to read more of my pondering on whether to expand our family? I pondered this topic back in February of this year, too.

ARE we having more kids?

That's me, above, the happy mother of two sons.

I am a very happy, content woman these days. I am truly "living the dream!" We're living two minutes from my parents' house, I have a new home-based business doing what I love as a Mary Kay independent beauty consultant, I have several on-going writing projects in the works, I'm enjoying my home, my friends and my new church, my marriage is going into it's tenth wonderful year and I'm thrilled with my two precious boys. And I have no regrets.

Then there's the "Are you guys having more kids?" question. It is a monumental question. A HUGE question!

Somewhat unfortunately, it's not simply a question of whether our hearts could grow to hold enough love for a third child, or whether we're up for raising another kid. There is so much more to it than that, some practical and some more emotional. Do I want to be pregnant and give birth again? Can we afford a third child, now and in the long run? Do we want a seven-plus year age gap between the oldest and youngest? Do we want our baby Ethan to be a middle child? After two amazingly wonderful pregnancies and incredibly healthy boys, do we really want to roll the dice again??



We're in a really good place right now as a family. Our boys keep us on our toes and our life is very exciting and fulfilling. We have what we need but not much extra. We often look at each other and say, "Let's be done having kids. Let's just raise the two we've got well."

Then.

Eleven o' clock at night this past week and we're going to bed. "Y'know..." my husband says. "I bet you're always going to want a daughter."

GULP.

I don't FEEL like there's someone missing from our family. I don't have a burning desire to raise a girl. In fact, after two boys, the idea of parenting a daughter kind of terrifies me!!

But am I denying that heart desire of having a daughter? Am I repressing a deep yearning for a little girl?

I am girly. I can envision the tea parties, ballet classes, shopping, girl talk and planning a wedding. I have a special bond with my own mother and grandmother and would I like to experience that with a daughter of my own? Maybe.

A dear, wise friend with two grown sons once told me, "You'll get daughters someday. But they'll already be raised." I love that idea!

BUT. I have already resigned myself to NOT trying to get pregnant with the intention of "getting" a specific gender. For one thing, I wouldn't want to set myself up for disappointment. The only tears I'd want in the ultrasound room are happy tears. For another, I don't want a third son who thinks he's the disappointing "too bad you weren't the girl we wanted" kid. Lastly, I don't even really KNOW whether I'd prefer a boy vs. a girl!

I THOUGHT I wanted a girl with my first pregnancy. I didn't really make a request before we got pregnant. Of course once you're pregnant, it's too late to make requests. At that point, you just have to ask God to prepare your heart for whichever one it is. Anyway, I couldn't really imagine myself with a son and people would tell me, "I can't picture you with a boy." Well, when Andrew was born, my heart soared. I knew that he was perfect for me and that my heart was meant to be the mom to a son.



When we had the ultrasound with #2, I suspected that it was a boy and was happy with that. When it was confirmed, I was thrilled. I loved the idea of having two sons! BROTHERS! Some people thought I was disappointed that it wasn't a girl but I wasn't. It just felt like it was meant to be. Having two boys has been an extraordinary joy and something I wouldn't trade for anything.



Now I KNOW that I am cut out for mothering boys. I love how independent and active they are. I love seeing them interact with their daddy. I actually enjoy the noise and chaos and there's something special about being the adored mother of sons.

The REAL question, then, is...am I done having babies? Am I ready to close the door on having more children?

I have been known to say that people who say that they MIGHT be done having kids, aren't. You KNOW people who are "done:" They have DONE something permanent to ensure that they won't have more children! If you haven't, or are playing the "we'll just see what happens" game, you WILL get pregnant again. Mark it down.

So, no, we're not done. We're going to remain open minded for a little bit longer. Our financial situation could change at any time. We could both suddenly realize that we want more kids. Who knows???

As of today, I'm still not sure whether I want to be done having babies. Which, according to my own theory, means that I'm not.

Stay tuned.

Yaz Birth Control Investigation

Did you see their commericals after the FDA forced them to correct their claims?

Interesting story.

Are you a lazy charter?

We're not trying to get pregnant at the moment (and have no plans to any time soon) so my "charting" nowadays is simply making a note once a week or so on my pocket calendar. I WANT to know what's going on with my body and whether certain symptoms or issues are hormone-related but I definitely don't need to be taking my temperature and checking my cervix every day to do that.

So unless you are using FA for contraception, are trying to get pregnant or are trouble-shooting something to do with your cycle, you can be a "lazy charter" and still have a good idea of what is happening.

Why, you ask? Besides simply knowing what is going on with your body, "lazy charting" can be useful if you need to undergo a medical procedure, suspect an accidental pregnancy or are prone to being a hypochondriac.

Here's what I recommend as a bare minimum:

1. Record day 1, the first day of your period. It's good to know when your cycle started and how many days it lasts.

I was shocked to discover that my last two cycles were both 31 days in length. I NEVER normally have cycles that short, nor that consistent in length. Hooray for me! This was during two VERY stressful months (moving across town and my oldest son starting kindergarten), which would have given my body EVERY reason to ovulate LATE and for my cycle to drag on. My cycles are regulating and normalizing! I would've never known that if I hadn't been keeping track.

2. Record any spotting, whether pre-period or mid-cycle. It's just good to know. Spotting can mean a lot of different things, depending on what type it is and when it occurs during your cycle.

I didn't spot before my current cycle which is also very unusual for me. This is good information to have!

3. Make a note of when you think you are your most fertile. You could also record your first dry day, too. This will help you predict when you will start your next cycle and whether a pregnancy could have actually occured.

4. Record having unprotected sex, even if it's early or late in your cycle. Need I say more?

5. Write down any unusual symptoms or ailments throughout the month. Could be that the headaches, strange shooting sensations in your abdomen or mood swings are hormonal and consistent month to month.

I get an upset stomach toward the end of most of my cycles so it's nice to know that I'm most likely NOT "coming down with something." I also tend to get a few high-energy days in the middle of my cycle. I have come to expect these and make my plans accordingly.

I hope this helps for any of you who don't want to do hard-core charting but still want to keep track of what's going on with your body.

Tell me...are YOU a lazy charter? What do you keep track of? How?

Baby's First Year Necessities

A dear friend who is pregnant with her first baby recently asked me, "What were the things you couldn't live without with your babies?"

I remember being newly pregnant and seeing the gazillions of "new baby essentials" listed on websites and in magazines and hoping I'd register for and get what I really wanted and not just a bunch of STUFF that I'd wish I could exchange for more diapers. So what do you really NEED for the baby's first year?

My real advice, by the way, would be more like, "Put your money toward a second honeymoon before the baby arrives," or "Start a college fund instead," or even "Tell people to save their money and babysit for free later on."

Nevertheless...off the top of my head, and based on going back over pictures of Ethan's first year, here (in no particular order) are my TOP TWENTY BABY'S FIRST YEAR NECESSITIES {a.k.a. "My favorite STUFF people gave us for our babies."}


1. Robeez shoes in a 6-12 months and/or 12-18 months size. They're best for the cruising and early walking phase. There are plenty of knock-offs around (just look for leather-like material and a stretchy opening) but I have found Robeez at Ross cheap.


2. A play mat, preferably with fun stuff to explore on the mat itself and overhead, so they can use it on their tummy (supervised, of course) or their back.


3. A bouncy seat. These are perfect to give mom's arms a break. I'm an attached mama who loves to hold my babies but I still had to eat or type an e-mail occasionally! My boys also liked to be rocked (usually with my foot) to sleep in them, too. Some vibrate, play music, etc. Options are fun!


4. A Bumbo seat is super-fun for "helping" baby sit up and for supporting them as they learn. Babies feel so big in it! I used mine as a booster seat when Ethan started solid foods, too. They're about $30 new and are best for babies from the time they can hold their head up well to when they become mobile, so I recommend borrowing one of these or getting one second hand.


5. Boppies are great! They make a good nursing pillow for mom and a nice pillow for Baby, too, for tummy time or on the play mat.


Ethan slept on his, too, but only when I was right next to him, of course. They're so comfy-cozy, who could resist??


6. Books are fantastic, of course, and the more graphic, the better! Babies love to be read it and love to look at the pictures. It's never too early to start building their vocabulary! Look for ones that have different textures they can feel, too.


Soft books they can chew and hold are also a great idea.


7. I thought (being an attached, baby-wearing Mom) that I wouldn't need a travel system. HA! I lasted a month before I BEGGED for one! This Graco version was just over $100 and worth every penny! The "system" involves an infant seat...


...a base for your car and the stroller itself, so that the carrier can be clipped into the car then into the stroller (hopefully while baby stays asleep). Most babies outgrow the infant seat (and/or become too heavy) at about 6 months, but the stroller can be used for years.


8. ALSO, a light, easily portable stroller comes in handy, too. These are for later in the first year but come in handy for short excursions or navigating small spaces. This "Jeep" stroller was great over rough terrain, including gravel parking lots and even dirt trails.


9. Baby toys. Ones they can hold (like this rattle) and ones that are crinkly, have ribbons to chew on, are bold in color, etc. There are oodles out there and it's fun to have a few tucked away in the car and diaper bag when you need to "change things up."


Ones with wheels are fun for encouraging crawling, too.


And...babies DO love looking at themselves!


10. Burp cloths. These can be as simple as a plain cloth diaper or embroidered, be-ribboned, etc. It's fun to have a few cute ones for when you're out and about. Obviously they're great to place over your shoulder or on your lap when you're burping your baby but they're great for wiping up all sorts of messes. They have a lot of other uses, too. You really can't have too many.


11. A stretchy blanket for swaddling. This one (above and below) had a "thermal" feel and was stretchy and oh-so soft. And it was made from organic cotton! It was great for nursing under, swaddling and just for Ethan to chew on. Get half a dozen, some fancy, some simple.




12. Somewhere for the baby to sleep near you in the early days. I had a mini Arm's Reach co-sleeper (as pictured above)....

...and bassinets are good, too, of course.


13. Somewhere for the baby to eat. High chairs are cute and may be convenient for some lifestyles but a simple booster seat works just as well, and typically young eaters like being "in the action" at the table, anyway.


14. While we're on it, I loved these soft-tipped spoons for Baby's first meals, the ones below are made by Gerber.



Along the same vein, these (Munchkin brand) mesh feeders were cool, too, for letting them try "big" food without the choking worry. Ethan's love of strawberries started here. I just let him go to town on them!


15. Diapers and wipes. I happen to love the Costco/Kirkland brand diapers AND wipes are top-of-the-line and a great value.


I do love the Pampers Swaddlers for the first few weeks. They have a line that changes color when the baby pees, which comes in handy in the early days when you're wondering if they're wet.


16. Lots of simple sleepers, onesies, creepers and rompers to go with the seasons. You can look through this post to see what MY baby wore day in and day out! :) Most of the time, comfort is your one and only priority but certainly have a few "cute" outfits for church, pictures, visits to Grandma's, etc.


A few pairs of light cotton pants for covering their legs if you'll be in air conditioning or cool weather. Think COMFY!


17. A baby bathtub. I can't recommend one because the one we had with Andrew didn't work very well (it was convertible = complicated) and Ethan took baths in the sink. I'd say, the simpler the better. You'll get 862 washcloths, too. You probably only need a half-dozen at the most. I usually just cleaned their faces with a washcloth and used my hands for the rest.


18. Burt's Bees (or some other type of body care/bath products). My vote is the more natural, the better. The Burt's Bees hair and body wash and lotion are wonderful and smell amazing. There are many other natural products available, Burt's Bees is just my favorite, and easy to buy from most big-box retailers.


19. Medicine chest items. I love these baby safety scissors. I would NEVER recommend trying to clip a baby's fingernails. Scary!!

A nasal aspirator. HATE using them, but gotta have them. GET THREE. Somehow they're always missing when you need one most.


These homeopathic teething tablets seemed to help when our boys were teething.

You need plenty of other items (thermometer, medicine dispenser, diaper rash cream, etc....these were just ones I had strong recommendations for.


20. A nursing cover (like the Hooter Hider, shown above). ANY nursing cover will give you the privacy and confidence you need to nurse whenever and wherever you need to.

THIS IS NOT AN ALL-INCLUSIVE LIST!! I didn't use pacifiers or bottles, I didn't have a crib, my boys hated wearing bibs, I didn't decorate a nursery, my kids were almost never sick...so there are some items missing. These are what I used and loved. If you see something missing, FEEL FREE TO ASK and I'll be happy to help!

And here are a few "would-be-nices" that come to mind:


1. A swing. Nice to keep baby happy (some nap in them, too) but expensive. Best to borrow or get second hand.


2. Hooded towels. You'll get 15 of them but you really only need one or two. Can you dry your baby off in a regular towel? Yeeessss, but these are so cute for pictures!


3. A jumperoo. This is great when they're getting tired of playing on the floor all day and are itching to be upright and can be used until they get too heavy/big for it. Expensive, so again, borrowed or second-hand is nice.

I HOPE THIS HELPS! Again, let me know if I've forgotten something or you want or need a recommendation for a specific item--I'm sure I'll be updating this list as more items come to mind!