De Ja Vu

Naturally, at cycle day 31 and 14 days post-ov, I'm dying to know whether I'm preggo or about to start a new cycle any second now.

So I turned to my old TTC (Trying to Conceive) journal.

This was my last entry, after midnight before I got my two clear positives the next afternoon:

"Based on my loose calculations, I'm about 14 days post-ov and no period yet. Feeling tired and crampy but that can be pregnancy or impending period, so that's no help. No spotting, though. I'm betting I ovulated later than I think I did. I took a $1 test this a.m. and it was clearly negative. I'll give it a day or two and test again but after that, I'll know it didn't "take." I hate waiting. But God's plan is best and I'm OK with whatever. Really."

Gee, THAT sounds familiar!!! So...I may have ovulated later than I thought--again! The fertile fluid did drag on for a day or two past when I thought I had my peak day. So, I could be just 12 dpo and get a nice + test tomorrow, or later. Still no spotting, just a little white glob, which I get a lot throughout typical cycles. I am NOT tired--actually, I have more energy! More of an appetite, too, but I had that with other pregnancies.

I have to remind myself that a day makes a big difference in hormone levels this early on! And like with Ethan, I had a - test the day before two STRONG positives!!

Part of me wants to go get a stronger test...and part of me doesn't want the disappointment of a "real" negative. There's something about the not knowing that does keep hope alive.

Everything rides on hope now!

***UPDATE for Saturday, 2-9, cycle day 32: Still no news!!! No new cycle, no spotting and another negative $1 test. I bought a $4 test for tomorrow but the waiting is terrible. I feel well over all, just dying to know one way or the other!!!!