Thursday, September 19, 2013

Being happy for them

This is cycle #12 since we "started trying." Has it really been that long?!?

I just looked back and we had five legit tries, three not-so-great tries (due to bad timing and a variety of other factors) and three months where we didn't try at all (mostly to avoid a November/December due date).
I definitely didn't foresee this taking quite so long BUT I will admit that the months have gone by very quickly and I'm still feeling hopeful and encouraged.

Within the last week, a dear friend texted that she'd gotten pregnant with her fifth child, a friend I met in 2001 messaged me that SHE became unexpectedly pregnant (they are over the moon!) AND I ran into a sweet acquaintance I haven't seen in a while at an event who is 18 weeks pregnant.

The first one already posted adorable announcement pictures on Facebook and I'm meeting the second one this weekend to tell her my stories and pass along my pregnancy and breastfeeding books. Siiiigghh.

You know the old saying that when all you have is a hammer, everything becomes a nail? Well, when you're trying to get pregnant, it seems like there are pregnant ladies EVERYWHERE. When it's people who are close to you, however, it hits home a little more.

I could let it get to me. You wonder "Why them and why not me?" You see them post their pictures and feel like it should be you. You wonder when it will be your turn. They reassure you, "It will happen for you soon!" You feel like when you DO announce your news, you'll look like you're just jumping on the baby band wagon or no one will notice because they're caught up in their own pregnancy journeys. You wonder if you should be telling people you're "trying" just to get some sympathy. 

If you happen to BE pregnant, just be aware that people who are TTC or who have lost a child are sensitive and need a little compassion. They usually do, however, want to celebrate your good news, so don't feel like you have to leave them out of the loop to spare their feelings.

If you are TTC yourself, it's important to be happy for people and know that your story will be told, too, and there will be people watching your journey someday and wondering, "Why her and not me?"

This process is heart-wrenching at times. It can be lonely. It can take longer than you thought it would. But you have to just keep your hopes up and try, try again. Just like I am. After all, what else can you do??