This is getting old

Yup, another cycle has come and gone with no good news.

I barely even tracked anything this cycle and didn't even bother testing. Not much PMS to speak of, thankfully.

I was teary a bit and felt a bit drained for the first few days of this cycle, but fine over all. This period has been REALLY heavy, so I'm not sure what's going on there. Today was cycle day 4 and I was achy, nauseated and just "blech." It's been a doozy. I've also been pushing myself pretty hard, though.

Of course there are the usual "Is this EVER going to happen?" and "Do I even really WANT this?!" and "Is something wrong?" questions. And another dear and lovely friend turned up pregnant--that keeps happening.

I'm a little discouraged. I'm a little tired.

I know God's timing is best and I absolutely trust in His plan, but I don't have to pretend that this doesn't kinda stink. A lot.

I suppose we'll just keep trying! This cycle, we'll have news right after my birthday and would be due in August.

Every month that passes, I remind myself that whatever good reason I had for THIS cycle being "it" (like for this one, we could have announced at Thanksgiving and I would have been due on my grandmother's birthday), there must be an even BETTER reason. That is reassuring, because every pregnancy up until now was perfectly timed--even the miscarriage.

Maybe I'll find out on my birthday (November 29th). That would be fun.