How do you 'walk by faith' in this?

Drew, Andrew and me, walking for our family pictures, December 2007. Andrew was two.

Not much has changed around here in the baby department, meaning that we're still in the 'no desire to have another baby right now but not ruling out the future possibility, either' phase.

Andrew is now well over six years old and Ethan is now three years and three months old and people must think we're 'done' because hardly anyone asks anymore if we're having more kids! Even my mother-in-law has laid off for the time being.

I have just been reading over my old blog entries about our miscarriage and Ethan's conception, pregnancy and birth and while I did adore being pregnant and having a baby, my heart doesn't say, "I want to do it again!" Nor do I feel like there is a person missing from our family or like I WANT another child (as of today).

BUT. Am I going to get a few years down the road and WISH I'd have done it now?? Are the boys going to be grown and I'm going to wish we'd have had the faith to just dive in and have more kids when we'd had the chance?

I refuse to live a life of regrets. I do not operate out of a place of fear.

So the question is, how do I 'walk by faith' when it comes to the future of our family? Is faith plunging in now, saying, "We're going to do this with faith that God will bless our baby and our family," and trust Him with the outcome...or having the faith to say, "I don't feel the heart-urge right now, so if the time does become right, God will faithfully tell us when that is." I think My 'leap of faith' is to NOT get pregnant now, BECAUSE it isn't a desire of my heart right now...knowing that I'm not 'missing' the opportunity somehow.

I do not want to limit God, or dictate what He can or will do! I don't want to add another child to our family right now. I am trusting God to give us another child in His perfect timing, if that is His will.

I refuse to believe that there is some sort of 'window of opportunity' that I might miss, just like I refuse to believe that there is a 'target' of His will and that only one option is 'on the mark' and the rest of them are 'off.' I have freedom to choose...and He has the power to move and speak as He wishes, to HIS glory and MY benefit!

So for now, I don't want to get pregnant. That could change at any time.

I will walk by faith, knowing that God is in control and will lead us down this path, just as He has so faithfully done before, whether that results in a new addition to our family or not.

Want to read more of my pondering on whether to expand our family? I pondered this topic back in February of this year, too.